<![CDATA[Happy Peace Within - My Blog]]>Tue, 12 Dec 2017 23:12:53 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[How to build luck and confidence]]>Mon, 06 Oct 2014 03:11:06 GMThttp://myluckypeace.com/1/post/2014/10/how-to-build-luck-and-confidence.html I was talking to some friends today that actually helped me to think about this topic. Whatever I said below are only from my own experince, no righ or wrong,  just matter of my opinions.

I do think in order for us to get lucky, we can't just sit there hoping the good luck charm will fall on us, or talking to ourselves that blah blah is lucky, she has a new house, she married to a nice guy, she has a nice body..I believe every good luck is coming from hard work, even the Victoria’s secret supermodels, have to eat (or not eat) certain food to prevent them getting fat, go to gym every day, I know how hard that is, myself, I can't do that or I'd be losing 10 more pound already. So we can't give ourselves excuses if we want to get lucky, come on, work hard for it, there is no easy way out, even we see others life seem luckier, but we don't know the stories behind them, if we feel sad because our life seem less lucky than others, then we are pushing ourselves in a path of being unlucky....yup!

I feel happier and confident more about myself now, in general my confidence has been built up (by myself) by time even I'm getting older(and wiser) and my life seem unsettled in certain point right now, however, when I look back, over 10 years ago, when I didn't even know how to cook rice correctly, and the same dish I cooked tonight, was too salty 10 years back, I am actually proud of myself that I have some improvements over the years. It may seem small, but start small, and how we build up our own confidence is not from other’s validations, not from other’s opinions about us, it’s how we review ourselves, little achievements in our life is something we should reward ourselves and be happy about it, therefore be confident too. When we are confident in our own skin, we also become stronger, it doesn’t matter what others think about us, good and bad, nothing can beat us up when we are confident and strong-minded. Trust me, there will always be someone who will always think of someone is not good enough, if we have to live our life through other’s opinions about us, we will be miserable. I had friends asking me why I didn’t get married when I had chance to get married, ironically,  I said, because I know I would get divorced! :P  because I was not ready for the responsibilities to build a family! Or maybe because I didn't have enough confidence to believe in. But We don’t have to do certain things in certain time period of life, life events are not tasks.  at least for me, I was not ready, it’s just like you are asking me to go for battles when I don’t know how to shoot a gun! Unfortunately, I realized I probably made right decisions about it, and I hope all these time after digesting things the hard way will eventually paid off…Just like a phrase saying: you will get same tests over and over again until you pass the tests – very true!! :-) I guess I am a slow learner afterall! J haha…

So sometimes I do feel I’m lucky in some way (just sometimes…J ) and I know I work hard for it, and I shall be happy and proud of it! J Yet continue to be a good kid, after all, Life is a school from beginning to the end! J If we fail, don’t beat up by it, get up and start again…:)

<![CDATA[September 30th, 2014]]>Tue, 30 Sep 2014 14:44:46 GMThttp://myluckypeace.com/1/post/2014/09/september-30th-2014.html
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there is an article on NY Times. My 2c is that we need to have filter system so that we can identify the postivie criticism that can help  us grow and the negative criticism that has nothing to do with us but more to them. Our end goal is to have a improved/better life because those criticism help us, if not, filter them out. I find, often time, when people are so criticized about others, themselves have some sort of problems they need to face and work them out!
A NEW study by the linguist and tech entrepreneur Kieran Snyder, done for Fortune.com, found two differences between workplace performance reviews given to men and women. Across 248 reviews from 28 companies, managers, whether male or female, gave female employees more negative feedback than they gave male employees. Second, 76 percent of the negative feedback given to women included some kind of personality criticism, such as comments that the woman was “abrasive,” “judgmental” or “strident.” Only 2 percent of men’s critical reviews included negative personality comments.

The study speaks to the impossible tightrope women must walk to do their jobs competently and to make tough decisions while simultaneously coming across as nice to everyone, all the time. But the findings also point to something else: If a woman wants to do substantive work of any kind, she’s going to be criticized — with comments not just about her work but also about herself. She must develop a way of experiencing criticism that allows her to persevere in the face of it.

And yet, many women don’t have that tool kit. In my coaching practice and training courses for women, I often encounter women who don’t voice their ideas or pursue their most important work because of dependence on praise or fears of criticism.

Many women are aware of this problem. “I know I need a thicker skin, but I have no idea how to get it,” one woman, a consultant to small businesses, said to me.

Criticism stings for all of us, but women have been socialized to not rock the boat, to be, above all else, likable. By the time a girl reaches adolescence, she’ll most likely have watched hundreds of films, television shows and advertisements in which a woman’s destiny is determined not by her own choices but by how she is perceived by others. In those hundreds of stories, we get the message: What other people think and say about us matters, a lot.

There’s another, deeper factor that informs women’s relationship to criticism and praise. For centuries, women couldn’t protect their own safety through physical, legal or financial means. We couldn’t rely on the law if our safety was threatened. We couldn’t use our own money to escape or safeguard ourselves and our children, because we could not own property. Being likable, or at least acceptable to stronger, more powerful others, was one of our primary available survival strategies. For many women around the world, this is still the reality, but all women inherit the psychological legacy of that history. Disapproval, criticism and the withdrawal of others’ approval can feel so petrifying for us at times — life-threatening even — because for millenniums, it was.

Add to this history what we see in our time: Powerful women tend to receive overreactive, shaming and inappropriately personal criticism. Kirsten E. Gillibrand’s colleagues in the Senate making comments about her weight. Christiane Amanpour being blasted for expressing even a hint of anger about the deaths of children in Syria. Hillary Rodham Clinton for not looking well rested enough while circling the globe. In our Internet age, this criticism often also becomes vulgar, sexualized and angry.

Continue reading the main story Continue reading the main story Continue reading the main story In the context of these influences, what allows women to become free of concerns about the reactions they or their work will provoke? I’ve found that the fundamental shift for women happens when we internalize the fact that all substantive work brings both praise and criticism. Many women carry the unconscious belief that good work will be met mostly — if not exclusively — with praise. Yet in our careers, the terrain is very different: Distinctive work, innovative thinking and controversial decisions garner supporters and critics, especially for women. We need to retrain our minds to expect and accept this.

There are a number of effective ways to do this. A woman can identify another woman whose response to criticism she admires. In challenging situations, she can imagine how the admired woman might respond, and thereby see some new possible responses for herself. It can be helpful to read the most negative and positive reviews of favorite female authors, to remind ourselves of the divergent reactions that powerful work inspires.

Women can also benefit from interpreting feedback as providing information about the preferences and point of view of the person giving the feedback, rather than information about themselves. In other words, a negative reaction from five investors doesn’t tell a woman anything about the quality of her business idea or her aptitude for entrepreneurship; it just tells her something about what those investors are looking for.

And if those five investors love her pitch? That also doesn’t tell her about her merit as an entrepreneur; it tells her about what they are looking for in an investment. In other words, feedback is useful because it provides insight about the people we want to reach, influence and engage. With that reframing, women can filter which feedback they need to incorporate to achieve their aims, without the taxing emotional highs and lows.

When a woman is being held back by fear of a particular criticism or paralyzed by a harsh criticism received in the past, she can also turn inward and ask herself, “Does that criticism in some way mirror what I believe about myself? When and why did that negative self-concept arise? Does it reflect the truth?” If a woman feels petrified of being told she’s not smart enough, for example, she may hold that doubt about herself. If she feels horribly wounded by criticism about her appearance, she most likely carries feelings of shame about her body. As she sees the roots of her beliefs and replaces them with a more accurate view of herself, she can free herself from the personal impact of the criticism.

Women today inhabit a transitional historical moment. We have tremendous new freedoms and new opportunities, but the legacy of a very different past is around us and inside us. Learning to respond to praise and criticism — without getting hooked by it — is for most of us, a necessary rite of passage.

Tara Mohr is the author of the forthcoming book “Playing Big: Find Your Voice, Your Mission, Your Message.”

<![CDATA[why people is moving to Texas]]>Mon, 29 Sep 2014 22:45:09 GMThttp://myluckypeace.com/1/post/2014/09/why-people-is-moving-to-texas.html So today there is an article on CNN Mondy about why people is moving to Texas?! What do you think? Well Texas is a lot cheaper than California for sure! ;)

More Americans moved to Texas in recent years than any other state: A net gain of more than 387,000 in the latest Census for 2013. And Austin was the fastest growing major city.

More Americans moved to Texas in recent years than any other state: A net gain of more than 387,000 in the latest Census for 2013. And Austin was the fastest growing major city.

"It take two things to draw people inland in big numbers: jobs and housing affordability," said Nela Richardson, chief economist for the real estate broker Redfin.

Texas and other heartland states have two advantages that translate into affordable housing: Plenty of cheap land around cities and easy regulations that enable developers to build quickly.

Related: Best cities for Millennial buyers

Nine of the top 10 fastest growing U.S. metro areas last year were ones where homes were more affordable than the U.S. average, according to Redfin. Many were in Texas, Oklahoma, Utah and other heartland states.

Five Texas cities -- Austin, Houston, San Antonio, Dallas and Fort Worth -- were among the top 20 fastest growing large metro areas.

Some smaller Texas metro areas grew even faster. In oil-rich Odessa, the population grew 3.3% and nearby Midland recorded a 3% gain.

The wealthiest county not on the east coast Jobs was the main driver in Austin, where population rose by 2.6% between 2012 and 2013. That's nearly four times faster growth than the United States as a whole.

Jobs are plentiful in Austin, where the unemployment rate is just 4.6%. Moody's Analytics projects job growth to average 4% a year through 2015.

Just as important, many jobs there are well paid: The median income of more than $75,000 is nearly 20% higher than the national median. The median home price is $243,000, higher than the U.S. norm, but a price level that income can support.

Related: Mansions for under $1 million

During the boom years, population actually grew faster in high-priced markets like New York and San Francisco.
<![CDATA[THOUGHTS OF THE DAY :)]]>Sat, 27 Sep 2014 17:43:16 GMThttp://myluckypeace.com/1/post/2014/09/thoughts-of-the-day.htmlPicture
I wanted to create my own web site with my own domain for a long time. Now I finally get to it. It does take lots of time, I haven't set up many things and still trying to figure how this site would look and what content would be on here. But start from a small step. :)

Today sitting under the sun, it feels so good! Most time all I need is sun, I feel happier when we have sunny days (unfortuntely, Cleveland has a long/dull winter). And often time, I found myself was clouded by negetivies that I was blind to see what's present, what's good around me. Now engaging myself into a quiet mind, I am be able to see good things around NOW, be grateful, therefore, be happy.
You won't feel happy if you are not grateful (no matter how bad situations are), I think that's one of the key to enter into the world of happiness..) What do you think?